Developments

I've met someone.

We met as a result of my enrolling in an online dating service. It's not one of the well known ones like Match.com or EHarmony.com. Those were a bit pricey in my opinion. So I decided to save a few bucks and enroll in Date-a-Felon.com. When I read Sally's (not her real name; appeals are still pending) profile, I instantly knew there was a connection.

She had been arrested and found guilty of stealing large quantities of candy. (You may recall my own confectionery caper a few blogs back.) She says she felt sorry for her actions and even sorrier for having tried to eat all the evidence. I knew that this was a woman with whom I could converse, or, at the very least, we could chew together.

Of course none of the above is true except for the first sentence. I have met someone and, as you can well imagine, it's got me all tangled up with feelings, some good, some not so good. Having met Ada when we were both 15, and having been, by and large, exclusively "with" her since that time, I have no idea about dating. When it comes to dating, I am the opposite of an idiot-savant. Essentially, I am a dating idiot. What does one say? Should I open doors? Is that sexist? Should I bring a gift? Is that a form of bribery? Remember to take small bites and eat with your mouth closed.

I haven't had to think about my "dating behavior" for almost 50 years. Ada somehow accepted me back then for what I was. I doubt anyone else on this Earth is that charitable. On the other hand, I don't want to present a completely false persona to "Sally". Sooner or later the truth about who I really am will have to come out, and it's probably better that it be sooner. Maybe it's just a matter of tweaking, of smoothing out some of the rough edges that have developed after 50 years of dormancy. Where is "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" when you really need them?

Of course none of this speaks to the bigger issue: How do I handle the guilt I feel in starting up a friendship or relationship with someone who isn't Ada? Intellectually I know that there is nothing wrong with any of this. It's actually a good thing, I know, I know. But that doesn't quell this sense of guilt I feel in having my "normal" life resume when Ada wasn't given that opportunity.

I will try my best to keep the guilt way back in there where it belongs; if that doesn't work, I'll try and get some help with it. I guess that's the best I can do.

On the other hand, I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge the excitement and joy I feel in this new adventure. When I think of all the funny stories I have to tell and the fact that "Sally" hasn't heard any of them before, I get positively giddy. So much "new" material and such an unsuspecting audience! Also, Sally knows her way around...the panhandle area, that is! What kind of disgusting blogophiles are you? As I've mentioned before, this is a family blog and there will be decorum.

Thus far Sally and I have gone out to dinner twice and attended a lovely open air concert together. At both dinners, I was impressed by how much she could eat. I was so busy talking, I barely touched my food. (Hmmm...This strategy may have to make its way into a chapter in my Rt. 95 Diet Book.) Yesterday we went to a huge air show at Eglin AFB to see the Thunderbirds precision flying team. I really enjoyed the air show because it was so loud, there is a good chance Sally didn't hear any of the stupid things I was saying.

On all of our dates, we have had a lot to talk about and we can make each other laugh easily. We seem to share the same value system, especially love of family, political outlook, and big picture view of life. More importantly, Sally has read the blog. She knows I don't care for broccoli. That's huge!

One last thing about Sally. She lets me go on and on about Ada. She even encourages me to do so. Sally isn't Jewish, but she's a mensch in my book!

I'm quite sure neither of us knows where we hope this friendship will go. Let's just call it Odyssey #2 for now and let it go at that.

Ain't life grand?

Much love,
J